Tag Archives: Anger

Spiritual

Letters to God – Part 23: Numb

nerot

Today is Israel’s remembrance day. The day when we all remember the fallen, who fought in our wars, who died in terrorist incidents, who served our country, who gave their lives so that we could live, whose lives were taken to remind every day that the world is a very, very harsh place.

Every year I feel this day, with anger, with sadness. Today I didn’t feel a thing. Nothing.

Because when you are at war, you can’t cry. You have to move on and save the tears for later. And I feel at war. A two year war with an enemy that I can’t fight. An enemy that is unpredictable, that surprises you in the middle of the night. An enemy that nobody really knows how to fight.

So my defenses are always up. I must not break, I must be strong.

But then I understand that sadness is not weakness. That remembering gives strength. That even if the past is dark, the future will be bright. Because we remember.

I remember.

Spiritual

Letters to God – Part 6: Unconditional Love

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source: http://thelongestisland.blogspot.co.il/2011/03/check-out-bernard-schweizers-blog-post.html

It seems like ages ago, but only 12 day have passed since my son gave me this lesson. We were driving home from his weekly treatment, and he was in a very bad mood, with no explainable reason. Probably because we said no to something he wanted. Yea, I think it was that.

As we were driving down the road he started saying bad things, and hitting my chair, so I stopped at a bus station and sat with him there to understand what is happening. He was so mad! And then he started crying, because he could not control himself. He said he was bad, and that he made me mad with no reason. We cried together for some time, and I told him that I love him always. That he can be angry at me, and its OK. And that sometimes I can also be angry at him, and that this is also OK. We are humans, we are full of feelings that we can’t fully control, and anger is one of them.

But that day I learned about unconditional love. The love you have for your child is like this. No matter how angry you are at him, you still love him. And no matter how angry he is at you, he still loves you.

And yes, I have been angry with you. And a part of me is still angry at you. For all the suffering, for all the sickness, for all the pain.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.

And even if you do things that I don’t understand, and that make me very angry, there is a reason for everything. But as I am a child, I cannot understand it.

And I know that you love me.