Hi God. I had a thought today. About forgiving and forgetting. Something we talked about before. I was thinking about how these two words are very similar, but deep down they are very, very, different.
[Son] Hi Dad! You are here! I’m so glad to see you
[Me] Hi kiddo. I’m also happy to see you!
OK, so back to the subject – forgiving is an active action, something you have to do, something that doesn’t happen alone. Forgetting is exactly the opposite. You can’t decide to forget something – doing that will do the exact opposite, imprinting it more in your memory. Forgetting is a passive action, something that happens, completely not under our control.
[Son] Hi Dad! I’m so happy that you are home!
[Me] Yes my boy. I’m also happy to be here, and to see you, and hug you. Love you!
Where were we? Ah yes. How forgiving is so simple. Well… relatively. Now forgetting? That is fricking hard. Really, REALLY hard. Memories come back from the middle of nowhere, events that happened ages ago suddenly pop into your head, no control, nothing you can do. No decision you make will take them out. They are just there. Lurking. Waiting. Prowling. Always ready to show up at the worse possible moment.
[Son] Daddy! So good to see you! High five!
[Me] High five, my hero!
So yes, for most of us, forgetting is hard. But for my son, it’s very easy. It just happens. And it breaks me every day.
Want to make a deal? I’ll forgive you. I’ll forgive you for everything.
And I’ll do that, the day he stops forgetting.
We’ll talk about everything else next time…